Afternoon lovelies,

My Name is DaisyAnn Fields. Thank you for taking a moment to read my story. I, too, love to read those steamy romance books where love is found between the sheets, with possessive, over-the-top men who will burn the world down for their woman. And though my story is that as well, we get there eventually. Mine is also about loss, hurt, self-destruction, and growth. Trigger warnings are a menu of sorts for us. Hehe. This is not a dark romance; rather, it's a bleeding-heart romance of sorts, and I want to walk you through it so you understand each.

Cheating - sexual and Emotional. Yep, that's right. It hurts, and you will feel my pain as I tell you what happened to me. I'm going to say, unless you are walking through the fires of hell, part of your own story, mine might still be good to read. But remember, your mental health matters, so if you can't, I hope you heal to one day be able to. In the pages beyond, you're going to hold my hand as I lose everything that shaped my young married life.

Suicide thoughts and attempts - it's part of the process that so many of us go through. This is a tough section. You're going to feel my rawness, my hopelessness, and my darkness. I'm still here to tell you my story, so though I have scars from it, I'm still here. My story is still going.

Self Harm and Scarring - The body keeps score whether we want it to or not. Mine kept receipts. You're going to see those receipts referenced throughout my story, not as something to glorify, but as something I carried and learned to stop adding to. If this is your current battle, please know you are not alone, and there is help.

Mental Illness - Specifically, Depression, Anxiety, and Borderline Personality disorder for me. And through my eyes, you will see my husband's mental illness come out as well. He suffers from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) brought about by childhood neglect by his parents.

Child Abandonment - Again, this is hard, and you will judge me for it. And I will live with the pain I caused our daughter for the rest of my life, but when it was all burning down, it was the best I could do for her.

Domestic Violence (both ways) - If you've been through this, then you understand. Words, fists, and vases get thrown. Cause everything is pressure, and it builds till it explodes.

Sexual Assault - When you are lost, vulnerable people try to take advantage of you.

Violence in Self Defense - When someone tries to take everything from you, sometimes the only way out is through. I did what I had to do to survive. I carry it. But I'm still here because of it. If this is something that lives in your history too, I see you.

Sexual Assault by Spouse - When everything is going wrong, sometimes no isn't accepted.

Mass Shooting / Attempted Murder of THE FMC. Yep, that was a scary time, but it was from the ashes that things grew.

Grief and Loss - Not everyone makes it to the other side of their story. Someone I loved didn't. You're going to love her too, and it's going to hurt when she's gone. Grief is the price of love and I'd pay it again for every moment I had with her.

Growth - I had to, and I hope you see it. We went from College sweethearts to learning to dig in my heels, say my feelings, and request equal support in my life.

BDSM - Sexual tastes evolved. Sometimes it's those hidden desires that bring out the worst in folks. But in other ways, they are healing, and they give the support and structure both sides need.

Second Chance - Yep.

If at any point my story feels too much, take a break. If you never finish it, that's okay too. You matter. But if somehow, I help you through your own messy life, then I'm glad that you could see the hand I'm reaching back for you to grab. Be blessed.

Daisy

P.S. There's potato soup. It helps.